Spice World The Spice Girls Movie(1997) Film Review

This Is An Intresting Film For A Man To Watch(**** Out Of ****)

 

Cast: Melanie Brown, Emma Bunton, Melanie Chisolm, Geri Hallowell, Victoria Beckham, Alan Cumming and Roger Moore.

 

Directed By: Bob Spiers

 

Rated PG For Some Vulgarity, Brief Nudity And Language

 

1hr 33min/93min.

 

 

 

 

A film like this is really hard to take seriously, esspecially if you're a man. It's tough to tell people that you are a fan of The Spice Girls. But with the recent crap people like to call music, I'm not ashamed. The Spice Girls are great. Their Music is really catchy and they can be really funny, but in a cheesy "leave-your-brain-at-the-door" sort of way. You can't watch this movie and expect it to be nominted for an Academy Award. It's a silly movie thats a lot of fun.

Broken City(2013) Film Review

 

Formulaic Plot And Familiar Characters, But It's Still Fun(*** Out Of ****)

 

Cast: Mark Whaleberg, Russel Crowe, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Jeffery Wright,  Barry Pepper, Alona Tal, Natalie Martinez, Michael Beach and Kyle Chandler.

 

Directed By: Allen Hughes.

 

Rated R For Pervasive Langauge, Some Sexual Content And Violence.

 

1hr 49min/109min.

 

111 Uses of the F-word.

 

 

Mark Whaleberg may not be the best actor in hollywood right now, but he does turn out some fun and entertaining films.  In 2012, he turned out films like The fun and thrilling Contraband and the hilarious Ted, but with Broken City, it seems like he's playing the typical tough, pretty boy with some of the most cliched back-story I have ever heard. But it somehow fits in a movie like this. It seems very odd pairing him up with a big time, Oscar-winning actor like Russel Crowe. But they actually work together. If you couldn't tell from the trailer, you would know that Mark Whaleberg is the good guy and Russel Crowe is the bad guy.

 

 

Billy Taggart(Mark Whaleberg) is stripped of his duties from the FBI Due to an icident whether he murdered someone due to self-defense or just straight-up murder. He is then appointed as a Private Investigator and is hired by the Mayor Nicholas Hostetler(Russel Crowe) who wants to find out if his wife(Catherine Zeta-Jones) is having an affair or not, all the while, Hostetler is trying to get re-elected.

 

The plot is something we have seen before with all of the generic and predictable plot twists, but this film has the right actors playing the part of these characters. Mark Whaleberg is good as the tough, pretty guy, and Catherine Zeta-Jones is decent as the rich girl who can get anything she wants. But the standout performer is Russel Crowe as the two-faced Mayor. He gives out a tremendous performance however the only downfall is that this film runs 109 minutes and Crowe is only in the film for about 25 minutes. He disappears many times throughout the film and leaves you feeling a little cheated.

 

 

Is Broken City worth your time and money. Yes and No. Yes because you will see great performances by the two lead actors and No because it just feels like all of the political thrillers out there. Even though I said this film was good I would just say either rent or buy this film when it comes out on DVD or Blu-Ray. It's Good Popcorn entertainment.

Kick-Ass(2010) Film Review

The Anti Superhero Film(**** Out Of ****), 8 January 2013
*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Kick-Ass is a unique film. It is a film that definitely falls under the "Take-No-Prisoners" category. The film is brutal and vulgar and it is deliciously demented. Kick-Ass is a brilliant comic book written by Mark Millar, and yes, there are differences between the comic book and film, but I don't go into a movie adapted from source material and nitpick if one character didn't do something he did in the book. However I do pay attention to see if it lives up to the book. Films like "Percy Jackson And The Olympians The Lightning Thief" and "Alex Rider: Operation Stormbreaker" are terrible adaptations of the original source material. Kick-Ass is one of the films that follows the book but makes changes, for a reason. If everything in the novel was in the film, than it would have been rated NC-17, which is the stamp of death for movies.

The films follows Dave Lizewski played by Aaron Johnson is pondering the age-old question: How come nobody wants to be a Superhero? After the crime rate has gone up in his city he decides he wants to dress up like a superhero and take down some thugs. However, his first encounter does not go so well as he is stabbed and hit by a car. Miraculously, he survives and decides to have another go at it. He launches into worldwide fame after a video is posted online of him beating up 3 thugs, goes viral. He goes to do another job but the plan goes awry when the gang member gets the upper hand. He is then helped by Hit-Girl played by Chloe Grace Mortez and her father Big Daddy played by Nicholas Cage. The films villain Frank D'amico played by Mark Strong and his son Chris played by Christopher Mintz-Plasse devise a plan to kidnapped Kick-Ass by having Chris be a new Superhero named Red-Mist. The rest is for you to watch the film and find out for yourself.

The films acting is very strong. Aaron Jonson is very good in his film debut as the title character. Chloe Grace Mortez is very good and vulgar in her debut as well. Christopher Mintz-Plasse is of course good as the sort of awkward kid who wants to make it big. Nicholas Cage is always great and fun to watch. He is especially hilarious as the gun toting nut Big Daddy.

The story is different yet original. This is sort of the Anti Superhero movie. This film brings to light that Superheroes don't always win. I love it. It's a bold approach and it is different to see superheroes placed in more danger than the PG-13 cookie cutter comic book movies. I have nothing wrong with those movies but I would love to see something different.

This film has two types of humor. The genuinely funny humor that happens from dialouge exchanges from characters, and the shocking humor. A perfect example is when Chloe Grace Mortez, who was 11 years old when filming is swearing all over the place with her saying lines like, "Okay you C***s, lets see what you can do." The character development is great and the characters of Big Daddy and Hit Girl have amazing back-stories. Hit Girl's mom died of a prescription drug overdose while her father was in prison. Big Daddy's motivation for going after Frank is that Frank put him in prison and left Hit Girl without a father for a few years. These characters have a motivation for getting their revenge.

Laslty I want to advise a warning. This film is extremely brutal, vulgar and violent. The torture scene in the film is very brutal and hard to watch. I know this sounds crazy but the torture scene in the book is more brutal than the film. Also there is blood galore in this film but has the same amount or less amount of blood than in the book. They wanted to make this movie PG-13 but, honestly, it would not have worked. Also 80% of the violence is enacted by a child who is Chloe Grace Mortez. This may be hard to watch and that is understandable. Lastly there is a brief but painful scene where Hit Girl is getting strangled by Frank. By me awarding this film 4 stars, I am not promoting child violence or violence against children, as a matter of fact it sickens me, But this is a movie based off of a comic book. It is not realistic and It is heavily stylized. I understand if you find this material hard to watch, but lets be honest an 11 year old girl is not going to go on a murderous rampage. Roger Ebert famously gave the film 1 star out of 4 saying "Should I be cool, or have a Heart?" I am not cool by rating the film 4 stars but I am being honest. So was Roger Ebert and I respect him for it.

This film earns my 4 star rating. The acting is strong, the story is brilliant and the film is brutally fun and shockingly funny. Kick-Ass is a movie with brutality but heart. This is a comic book film not to be missed.

Rated R For Strong Brutal Violence Throughout, Pervasive Language, Sexual Content, Nudity And Some Drug Use- Some Involving Children.

1hr 57min/117min.

112 uses of the F-word.

****/****

My Film Ratings

Some people that I shared my IMDb reviews with are confused by what the stars mean at the beginning and end of my reviews. Those are grades that I give movies. The grades go as the following:

****- Thumbs Up
***1/2- Thumbs Up
***- Thumbs Up
**1/2- Thumbs Up
**- Thumbs Down
*1/2- Thumbs Down
*- Thumbs Down
1/2*- Thumbs Down
BOMB/Zero- Thumbs Down

4 Stars is the highest grade and a BOMB Is the lowest Grade I give. Just a helpful guide for future reviews.

Meet The Feebles(1989) Film Review

The Worst Film I Have Ever Seen(BOMB/0 Out Of ****), 24 January 2013                                               *** This review may contain spoilers ***

I take it upon myself to re-watch movies to see if they are worse or better than I remember. I reviewed this film as my 200th review. Consider this a rewrite. Since then I saw reviews saying that this was a film to see and it was some peoples favorite film, which is weird but I am not one to judge people. I am here to judge this film. Is it better or worse than when I reviewed i?. Well believe it or not, it somehow manages to be worse than before. There is no other film that has made me more disgusted and has made me angrier than Meet The Feebles. This movie is so bad that I could analyze and nitpick every single thing wrong about this film but I'll spare you the time. When I revisited this film I saw at least 15 things that I left out of my original review. So let's get started.

Heidi The Hippo is upset because, during rehearsal, Trevor The Rat insults her. Heidi Runs to her lover Bletch The Walrus (Which provokes interesting thoughts) and Bletch comforts her. Beltch is secretly having an affair with Samantha The Siamese Cat (and shows you all of their Interactions). We also have Harry The Hare who gets sick after "Little Bunny Froo Froo" went hopping through the forest. Also a hedgehog who is in love with a poodle, a chicken married to an elephant, a drug addicted frog and the walrus doing drug deals. This I can not make up.

Well the story is a good place to start. The main story itself is buried under so many ridiculous subplots it's awful. Also the movie does not know which story to go to because the film keeps jumping around like I just opened a can of Jumping Beans. The stories are terrible, every single one of them. Now all of the plots I mentioned are only half of what is in the film. The rest are either not worth mentioning, or I can't put them in this review or else the wonderful folks over at IMDb Would kick me off forever. We wouldn't want that now would we?

The characters... are the most disgusting and vile creatures I have ever seen. The Hippo is star hungry, The walrus is money hungry, The frog is a drug addicted wreck, The rabbit likes to go hopping without protection, The rat is an adult film director and plus there is an Indian running around with his head up his own Rectum! What the hell is going on here? I feel like someone was taking a ride on the LSD train while writing this. These Characters Are Mean-Spirited and soulless. You want investing characters? HA! Don't be ridiculous! There are no characters that you can invest in. Well there are 2 but to be honest they only have 4 minutes of screen time each. Thats not Good.

This movie also tries to pass itself off as a musical. I find that hard to believe because there is not a single song in this worthless piece of trash that you can remember, and if you do remember the songs, they stick in your head until you want to put a gun to your head and pull the trigger. The soundtrack includes such classics like, "I got one leg missing", "The S***** Song" and the always classic "Garden Of Love". Meet The Feebles does not pass as a musical. A comedy that does pass as a musical is the 1999 film, South Park Bigger Longer & Uncut. That movie was also a satire, and it worked. This does not. Oh, and by the way, Just what the hell is this movie trying to be a satire of, because I'm not seeing it. Apparently, My intelligence is no match for this film.

The Ending. This movie features, without a doubt, the worst ending in a feature-length motion picture I have ever seen. There will be spoilers but in all honesty you should stay away from this film. The ending starts with Heidi Trying to commit suicide by hanging herself but due to her being fat(Ha-Ha), she falls down to the basement. She then grabs a gun and decides to go on a shooting rampage. By this point in the film I wanted strangle myself, but I pushed on because there was less than 10 minutes left. She literally kills everybody but 6 people. The Hedgehog and the Poodle have kids(I'm Not sure how that would work), The Elephant and his son live a quiet life, And the worm retires. The next moment made me so mad I wanted to punch the screen I was watching. The Hippo gets only 10 years and then goes to work in a supermarket. Are you kidding me?!!? "Have you had any criminal history". "Oh nothing big, just that I went on a big shooting rampage and killed over 50 people". "Your Hired!".

This is the most Abysmal, Appalling, Asinine, Atrocious, Awful, Broken, Clumsy, Coarse, Cold-Hearted, Confused, Corrupt, Cruel, Despicable, Dirty, Disgusting, Disheveled, Dishonorable, Dreadful, Evil, Filthy, Foul, Ghastly, Gross, Grotesque, Harmful, Horrendous, Horrible, Immature, Inelegant, Insane, Junky, Lousy, Malicious, Mean, Misshapen, Monstorous, Nasty, Negative, Objectionable, Offensive, Painful, Questionable, Repulsive, Repugnant, Revolting, Rotten, Rude, Ruthless, Sad, Savage, Shocking, Sickening, Sinister, Slimy, Sorry, Spiteful, Stupid, Terrible, Ugly, Unapolegetic, Unfavorable, Unpleasant, Unsatisfactory, Unwanted, Unwelcome, Unholesome, Unwise, Vice, Vicious, Vile, Villainous, Vindictive, Wicked, Wortless movie I have ever seen. I have never seen a movie so shallow that people would actually say it's supposed to funny. This movie gets nothing right. The only thing that this movie succeeds at is pissing me off! This is without a doubt the worst film I have ever seen.

Not Rated.

1hr 33min/93min.

BOMB/****