Friday, June 14, 2013
Movie 43(2013) Film Review
Critics Just Don't Understand(**** Out Of ****)
Cast: Elizabeth Banks, Kristen Bell, Halle Berry, Leslie Bibb, Kate Bosworth, Gerard Butler, Josh Duhamel, Anna Faris, Richard Gere, Terrence Howard, Hugh Jackman, Greg Kinnear, Johnny Knoxville, Justin Long, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Chloe Grace Mortez, Dennis Quaid, Liev Schreiber, Sean William Scott, Emma Stone, Jason Sudekis, Uma Thurman, Naomi Watts and Kate Winslet.
Directed By: Elizabeth Banks, Steven Brill, Steve Carr, Rusty Candieff, James Duffy, Griffin Dune, Peter Farrelly, Patrick Forsberg, James Gunn, Bob Odenkirk, Brett Ratner, Will Graham and Jonathan Van Tellekin.
Rated R For Srong Pervasive Crude And Sexual Content Including Dialouge, Graphic Nudity, Language, Some Violence And Drug Use.(1hr 37min/97min) (73 uses of the F-word.)
What is it that makes critics turn away in disgust at Movie 43? Is it because it's not funny? Is it because it's vulgar? Is it because it's tasteless? Yes. Critics turn their noses at this film because they can't have fun. I went into this film expecting nothing but pure garbage. When I came out I was pleasantly surprised. The film is a sketch comedy film. People often compare it to The Kentuckey Fried Movie, Amazon Women On The Moon and The Groove Tube. However the way critics are treating it remind me of a terrible sketch comedy film from 1999 called The Underground Comedy Movie. That film had terrible sketches that felt like work to sit through. This film makes me feel joyus that I sat through it. Is it a perfect movie? No. But it is a fun movie to sit down and have a good laugh.
The film has a wraparound story to tie all of these sketches together. This is called "The Pitch". Charlie Wessler (Dennis Quaid) is an aspiring screen-writer. He takes his new script to Griffin Schraeder (Greg Kinnear) and pitches him his script which are the sketches in the film. When Griffin doesn't want to listen to his script anymore, Charlie pulls out a gun and threatens to kill him unless he listens to the rest of his script. If you live outside of the United States, then you got a sketch called "The Thread". This features a group of three teenage boys who want to search for the most banned film ever made, following the 43rd rule of the internet which is, "You can find anything you are looking for as long as you keep looking". The first sketch is called "The Catch". Beth (Kate Winslet) is going on a blind date with the city's most eligible bachelor Davis (Hugh Jackman). Ther's only one problem. Davis has a scrotum hanging from his neck, to which only Beth aknowledges.
In "iBabe" Richard Gere plays the head of a company that makes a music player in the form of a naked woman. However they have problems with it when boys try to have sex with it and get hurt due to a fan in the womans (whistles). They decide to move the vent to the ear. "Superhero Speed Dating" has Batman (Jason Sudekis) and Robin (Justin Long) are at a speed dating event to try and defuse a planted bomb. "Middleschool Date" Has a boy (Jimmy Bennet) and a girl (Chloe Grace Mortez) on their first date. But the date goes awry when the girl starts having her period and neither the boy, his brother (Christopher Mintz-Plasse) or his father (Patrick Warburton) Know the proper thing to do. In "Happy Birthday" Pete (Johnny Knoxville) gets a leprachaun (Gerard Butler) for a birthday present to his buddy Brian (Sean William Scott) But alls not well when the Leprachauns brother (also Gerard Butler) shows up. 
In "Truth Or Dare" Halle Berry and Stephen Merchant are playing a game of Truth Or Dare to make themselves more comfortable, but the game rapidly gets out of hand. "Victory's Glory" Has a basketball coach (Terrence Howard) coaching his all black team to victory in the year of 1959. The last sketch is called "Beezel" which has a 2D animated cat getting in the way of the relationship of Elizabeth Banks and Josh Duhamel. The film has a lot of jokes that hit but the humor in the film is questionable. I love films that take risks and is a big, giant "Screw You" to Hollywood. Actors can get stereotyped. This film proves that actors can be vulgar yet funny while doing it.Identity Thief(2013) Film Review
(**1/2 Out Of ****)
Rated R For Sexual Content And Language
46 uses of the F-word.
1hr 51min/111min.
Identity Thief is being pushed as one of the funniest comedies of the year due to the star power behind it. The real question is, "Is the film funny?" Well yes, but people might have anticipated a fun comedy with Jason Bateman and Melissa McCarthy. Instead they will get a midly funny and occasionally hilarious movie wit Bateman and McCarthy. The film falls into the perfect example of movies showing 75-80% of the funny parts in the film trailer. That's not me bashing the film. **1/2 is a decent rating given from me. It means I like the film, But it is it something you have to rush out and go see. The answer is no. While the movie is funny, there isn't enough strong material to warrant you going to the theater to see it. It's good popcorn entertainment, but that's all this film really is.
Sandy Bigelow Patterson(Jason Bateman) is your typical, normal everyday working man. He has got a lovely wife and two, soon to be three daughters. Also, he's got the same birthday as me, May 18th so that's a plus. One day, he gets taken down to the local police station to come to realiztion anyones worst nightmare: his identity has been stolen. By who you may ask? A woman named Diana(Mellisa McCarthy) who has stolen a lot of peoples Identities. Patterson's job is on the line and in order to keep it, he has to travel down to Florida and apprehend Diana. Diana however, unexpectedly has two narcotics dealers show up at her door(Genisis Roderiquez and T.I.) and demand money for their deal. All the while they are being chased by Robert Patrick. His motive is a little unclear but hey, he is entertaining to watch.
The film has only one thing going for it. Her name is Melissa McCarthy. She is extremely Funny and the whole reason to watch the film. It also has another thing going for it and thats Jason Bateman. The chemistry between these 2 is brilliant. The film is a road movie and instantly Planes Trains And Automobiles came into my mind quite a bit while watching. These two have incredibly written dialouge. However not all of the writing hits. About 70% of it does. The script could have definnetly been reworked in certain parts. The film also runs too long. You could have cut 20-25minutes out of the film and it wouldn't make one bit of difference.
The subplot with The two drug dealers and Robert Patrick could have been completly cut out. They serve absolutly no purpose to the sory and I would have done a lot better without it. So if you cut out all of the things I mentioned, you would have a film that only runs 80 minutes. Maybe that's what they should have done. However, I won't stop you from seeing this film. That's why I am going to say that you should just stick to renting Identity Thief. I'm glad I saw it, but it's more like a one and done movie for me. I don't really have the desire to see it again anytime soon but maybe, in about 2-3 years, I'll check it out again.End Of Watch(2012) Film Review
Cast: Jake Gyllenhaal, Micheal Pena.
Director: David Ayer
Rated R For Strong Violence, Some Disturbing Images, Pervasive Language Including Sexual Refferences And Some Drug Use
421 Uses of The F-Word
2012 was one of the best years in film of the last 10 years. As I was taking a look back at all of the films that I saw of 2012, I was trying to decide what the absolute best was. Sure you had great films like Flight with Denzel Washington and Django Unchained Directed by Quentitn Tarantino. Those 2 films are in my top 3 best of he year, but no film spoke to me more in 2012 than End Of Watch. End Of Watch is written and Directed by David Ayer who wrote the 2001 film Training Day. The man knows how to make cop movies, but unlike Training Day and his other film Street Kings, this film is an accurate Portrayal of cops and their Daily Routine, whereas The other two films had some unrealistic action scenes and ludacris dialouge that prevented them from being as good as End Of Watch. The film is shot Documentary style which I think helps heighten the realism of the film. 
Officer Brian Taylor(Jake Gyllenhaal) and his partner Officer Mike Zavala(Michael Pena) are just two everyday working cops who have been buddies for a few years. One night after a drive by shooting by a gang of hispanic members, the two decide to investigate. What they find is shocking, illegal weapons and drugs to boot, that slowly affect their personal lives. Brian is set to be married and Mike is set to have his first child. The next few days prove to be dangerous, shocking and frightning for the duo that they come across some of the most brutal and disgusting things that no cop should have to see.
The acting done by Gyllenhaal and Pena is so convincing that you feel like you have made a connection with them by the end of the film. As I was watching the film I didn't feel like I was watching Gyllenhaal and Pena act, I felt like I was right there in the police car interacting with them. The movie has such a powerful emotional effect that by the time the movies over, you're left asking "why can't I spend more time with them?" The film is smartly written and does not, at all once, talk down to it's viewers. The film is tensley filmed and suspensfully drawn out that by the time the movie has ended you will have fallen out of your seat from being on the edge too much.
I truly think that the film should have been nominated for a couple of Academy Awards this year. My nominations would have been for Best Picture, Best Actor, Best Supporting Actor, Best Original Screenplay, Best Director, Best Cinematography and Best Supporting Actress for Anna Kendrick. The fact the film was not nominated for a single award I was infuriated. I'm not saying that all of the other films that were nominated were bad, but I am saying that they should give the smaller films a chance instead of bigger films like Life Of Pi, Lincoln and Argo. Do not, I repeat, do not miss out on this film. It was a gift from the Cinema Gods in 2012. I picked it as my absolute favorite film of 2012 and is now #5 on my top 10 all time favorite films. David Ayer, you have done well.Team America World Police(2004) Film Review
Cast: Trey Parker and Matt Stone
Directed by: Trey Parker
Rated R For Graphic Crude And Sexual Humor, Violent Images And Strong Language, All Involving Puppets
1hr 38min/98min.
117 uses of the F-word.
Team America World Police is a satirical comedy film spoofing the action genre, with puppets! I'm sure you all remember my hate-filled review of the film Meet The Feebles. In that review, I had called the film the worst film I had ever had the displeasure of seeing. However, where there is dark, there is also light. Team America is that light. This film is so smart, brilliant and funny that I have given it the prestigeous honor of being my favorite comedy film of all time and my second favorite film of all time. The film has that rare quality of every single joke being a hit and not a single one being a miss, it's just that good. The film was written by the comedic geniuses behind South Park and the 1999 film South Park Bigger Longer & Uncut, Trey Parker and Matt Stone and Directed by Trey Parker. This film parodies and satarizes the action genre and all of the generic and patriotic cliches that come with every action film like Pearl Harbor and Die Hard. 
The opening scene of the film features the title team as they are heading to Paris For a mission. As they try to take down the terrorists with the Weapons of Mass Destruction. Carson who is the Head teamate, proposes to the female lead, Lisa, but things take a turn for the worse as Carson is suddenly gunned down by a terrorist thought to be dead. The Team Leader, Spottswoode recruits a boradway actor name Gary Johnston who at first refuses but then agrees after taking a car ride through various places of America. Their newest mission is to take down Kim Jong Ill and the Film Actors Guild who want to destroy the world with Weapons Of Mass Destruction. But they have to move quickly because the nuclear strike is moving in fast.
The film poitns out all of the action cliches like the head Teamate being gunned down or killed in any way shape or form before he can Pop the question to the main female teamate. We also have the cliche of the standard characters in action films. We have Gary who represents the hotshot celebrity who's parents were tragically killed while he was a child yet thinks he is to good for the team at first. We have Lisa who is of course Gary's love intrest but doesn't quite know if she can get over the loss of Carson that quickly. Then we have Chris who is set up to have this tough guy persona and doesn't quite like the fact that someone is replacing a lifelong Teamate. We have Sarah who has been lifelong friends with Lisa and would do anything for her. Then finally, there is Joe who is the humbled innocence of the group. There is also the cliche of the action movie montage accompanied by a song called "Montage". "Show a lot of things, happening at once, remind everyone of whats goin' on! That's called a Montage!". Those are just some of the brilliant lyrics in the film. The film also represents a musical wih such classic songs like, "Pearl Harbor Sucks"(The film not the actuall event), "Freedom Isn't Free", "Everyone Has AIDS", and the song that symbolizes the whole film, "America F*** YEAH!". I like how the last song I mentioned symolizes the over-patriotic ways action films are now.
The film also has the distinct notion of being extremly Unpolitically correct including raciall stereotypes and homophobic undertones. But in a film where a marionette style version of the late Kim Jong Ill is singing a song entitled "I'm So Ronrey" it doesn't really bother you that much. Parker and Stone are known for making fun of celbrities and that is no exception here with such people being satrized like, Alec Baldwin, Matt Damon and Michael Moore. The film does not have a single dull moment in it. The film has all of the dirty and questionable humor like in South Park only the dial is cranked up so high that it's broken. Team America is a movie that you should take caution. If you can deal with an over the top sex scene thats reminiscent of a G.I. Joe and a Barbie doll and a 60 second long puking scene than I say, go for it.Fun Size(2012) Film Review
Rated PG-13 For Crude And Suggestive Material, Partying And Language
1hr 26min/86min.
Fun Size is the newest film released by Nickelodeon. Parents, Don't Be fooled, this is in no way a movie your children should watch for two reasons. 1). Because it is a poorly made film and 2). It may have Nickelodeons pedigree on it but this film seems to raunchy for Nickelodeon. Characters make crude and sexual remarks and jokes, Characters have(Implied) sex and overall, has vulgar language. Nickelodeon confused audiences with the advertising for this film. They advertised it all over their network, clearly marketing to the people who love Victorious, but the end result was too raunchy for Nickelodeon standerds. The film is going to air on the network in about 2-3 years but they would have to cut roughly, 10-15 minutes out for younger audiences. When they do that, you're only going to have a movie that's a few minutes over an hour. Also no one should have to see this movie unless they tolerate with the low-brow humor on Nickelodeon. If you are one of those people then this is just the film for you!
Wren DeSantis(Victoria Justice) has the displeasure of taking care of her younger brother Albert on the night of Halloween, the same night when her and her firends want to go to a "Super-Cool" Halloween party where she wants to ask out the man of her dreams. Not much story to go by in this film. That's one of the main problems with the film, It's too predictable. As soon as the movie gets going, you know exactly where it's going. Of course there's the always tired cliche of the main character's dad being dead which I would have sympathy for the character if he served a purpose to the actual story which of course, he does not.
My main problem with the film is the overall presentation of the humor in the film which is all around sloppy. The film features low, low, low-brow humor. The jokes are painfully bad, gross and cringe-inducing. How ever the film, as you can see, does earn 1 star for the performances of Chelsea Handler and Johnny Knoxville. Knoxville bringing a funny performance and Handler brining a nice motherly performance. This review is short but I can't really go into that much detail. I would say skip this wretched piece of dreck unless you are a fan of Handler and Knoxville.Pitch Perfect(2012) Film Review
Rated PG-13 For Sexual Material, Language And Drug Refferences
1hr 52min/112min.
Pitch Perfect is a great contender for the most overrated film of 2012. This film is astonishingly bad. I went into the film with an open mind and had actually heard really good things. What I eventually thought of the film after watching it was that not only was it overrated but it was jawdroppingly bad. The film has absoluetly bad jokes, horribly written dialouge, no memorable performances and surprising to vulgar for a PG-13 rating. The film was of course slapped with a PG-13 rating so that way 12 year old girls can watch 500 times and annoy everybody with renditions of The Cup Song Anna Kendrick does in the film. Let me take you through all of the problems I had with the film and why I think it's overrated.
The film follows Becca(Anna Kendrick) who wants to go to L.A. to be a full blown record producer. Instead she joins an accapella group called The Barden Bellas who, four months ago, had a tragic mishap in which the lead singer vomited all over the stage. Among the group is Fat Amy(Rebel Wilson) Chloe(Britney Snow) and much more. They go up against an all male acapella group called The Treblemakers led by Nicholas(Adam DeVine) in a tough competition to see who is the best acapella group on the campus.
First, there are two things that save the film from a Zero Star rating. They are Adam DeVine and Rebel Wilson. They have the smartest and best and funniest written dialouge in the film. DeVine is best known for his performance on the extremely funny Comedy Central TV show Workaholics and transfers to this film quite well. Rebel Wilson is sweet and funny but I feel like she is just the predictable comedic relief with the typical fat person jokes but she does it well. Thats about all I liked of the movie. But they are not in the film enough to warrant a 1 star rating. Half of one star is all this movie is getting. Also the acapella singing of the Universal Pictures logo was a nice touch.
First off, this movie has a fascination with vomit. It's gross and also wants to make me vomit. The dialouge is poorly written filled with some of the worst puns I have ever heard. "Aca-scuse me?" "We are gonna be Aca-Awesome!" ENOUGH! If I hear one more "Aca" pun I'm gonna shoot myself in the foot! Anna Kendrick performance is surprisingly boring and is the least intersting character which surprises me since her performance, albeit a small one, was fantastic in End Of Watch. Here, it looks like she could care less. The MPAA should be closely evaluated. I think this film should been givin an R Rating. They give Bully, a really good film an R for language(Later re-rated to PG-13) but this film has drug refferences and sexual refferences galore to warrant an R but Because 11-12 year girls want to watch BOOM, PG-13. The joke are really bad. The only one I laughed at besides the ones said by Wilson and DeVine is the Rape whistle joke. This movie should be banished to depths of Cinematic Hell. Before I go I just want to say that shame on you the people that told me that this movie was good and funny. This is a great case of overhyped cinema. Talenteed actors like DeVine, Wilson and Christopher Mintz-Plasse are wasted in this pile of Garbage. To quote the Scmoes of Schmoes Know, this movie STOINKED!
The Call(2013) Film Review
Rated R For Violence, Disturbing Content And Some Language
1hr 34min/94min
6 uses of the F-word
The Call is the new Thriller from Brad Anderson, Who directed The Machinist, and stars Halle Berry and Abigail Breslin. Watching the trailer for the film, I was expecting a typical but entertaining thriller film, about a 911 operator. What I got Instead was the most nerve-wracking, Intense film I have ever seen. The trailer for this movie does not do it the least bit of justice, you have to go see this film for yourself. The film features great performances, an original story and a break-neck, intense pace that I have not seen in a film yet. The film was so intense that I was shaking 30 minutes after I left the film, it is that good.
Jordan Turner(Halle Berry) is a 911 operator, who is having a normal day at work. A call comes in from a 17-year-old girl who is calling of a man who is intruding on her home. Jordan devises a plan to have the girl open the window and hide under the bed to trick the killer into thinking she has left. The plan works but as he is about to leave, the phone disconnects. Jordan makes the mistake of re-dialing. The man hears the phone and finds the girl upstairs. The next morning, the girl is found dead in a ditch in the middle of a field.
Six Months Later, Jordan has now quit as a dispatcher and is now training new recruits. A call comes in of a 17 year old girl named Casey Welson(Abigail Breslin) who has been kidnapped and put in the trunk of a car. Jordan takes the call and speaks with Casey to calm her down. However when Jordan Hears the voice of the killer, she realizes thta it is the same voice of the man who killed the other girl six months earlier. Jordan decides that she should take matters into her own hands before the man kills Casey.
The characters are very well developed in the film, but what brings these characters tto life are the performers. Halle Berry is the perfect choice to play Jordan. Berry brings to life the character who is going through a rough patch, and is still tormented by that horrific call six months earlier. Halle Berry is so good that when I was watching her on-screen, I didn't see Halle Berry, I saw The character of Jordan Turner who has been haunted and quit her job du to it. I will admit, I was skeptical of Abigail Breslin, but she was also very good. Her first scene is with her and her friend at a mall and the dialouge between them is what you would hear between to teen girls. When she is abducted I realy felt like she was being kidnapped. The killer who is portrayed by Michael Eklund is truly frightening as this mentally disturbed, monsterous being. Why he is doing this, I can't say because it reveals the ending.
The story is very original. I thought this was going to be a generic and cliched thriller, but I never expected a film this original. The film mopves a very brek-neck speed. This film made me jump many times and made me tense up. I was still shaking 30 minutes after the film was over and I had left the theater. If a film can get me to do that, than that means that it earns a spot on my best of the year list. This is a film that everyone should see, however if you are easily distrurbed than this film is not for you. This does have an intense and disturbing tone. But hey, if you love movies like that, than this is for you. Judging by the box office totals, everyone is loving it.Scarface(1983) Film Review
Rated R For Sequences Of Strong Bloody Graphic Violence And Drug Use Throughout, Pervasive Strong Language And Sexual Content/Nudity.
2hrs 50min/170min.
226 uses of the F-word.
WARNING: CONTAINS SPOILERS.
This review is dedicated to renowned film critic Roger Ebert. Roger Ebert is my favorite film critic of all time. Ebert had a passion for movies that I feel has transferred down to me. When he loved a movie, he would tell you with his passionate love for movies in mind. He shared this with some films like Scarface, Pulp Fiction and Argo. When he hated a movie, he show the same passion for when he loved a movie. He showed this with films like Armageddon, Jason X and most famously North. Ebert was so passionate that he cut a dinner short with Madonna to get up early the next day to go to a film festival. When I found out that he died, I was heartbroken. Roger Ebert will always be remembered. Now I know he is reviewing films with Gene Siskel up in heaven.
R.I.P. Roger Ebert 1942-2013
Scarface is #10 on my Top 10 Favorite Films Of All Time. I know it sounds cliche to say that Scarface is one of your favorite films but when you watch the film, you are engaged by the core of the story, development of the main central characters and the intensity of the violence, langauge and drug use. Nobody knows this but this was the first film in cinematic history to contain 200 or more uses of the F-word. Also when this film came out, critics hated it. The only film critics that praised it were Roger Ebert and Vincent Canby. Now 30 Years later, it is hailed as a cinematic classic and as of writing this, it is #127 on IMDb's top 250 best movies ever made. There are many things that make Scarface a film taht should be shown in film classes all around America.
Tony Montana(Al Pacino) is a cuban imigrant coming to america to the country of Miami, Florida. Tony and his Friends go on a drug deal but the deal goes horribly awry as one his friends gets killed by a chainsaw. Tony gets enraged and kills the colombians. This is brought to the attention of Frank Lopez(Robert Loggia) who hires Tony because of this. Tony then sees Elvira Hancock(Michelle Pfeiffer) who is Frank's girlfirend whom Tony is immediatley attracted to. Tony sees his mother and Sister Gina but his mother is extremely disgusted of Tony's new life of crime. Frank sends Tony and his other man Omar(F. Murray Abarham) to meet with a colombian drug king-pin. Tony makes a deal with the man without Frank's approval. Omar then gets taken away and is killed by the kingpins. The relationship Between Frank and Tony dissolve because of this deal.
Tony meets a man named Mel who promises him protection. Tony angers Frank even more when he openly pursues Elvira in the club. After Tony makes another unapproved deal and Frank becomes enraged. Tony is then attacked at a club by Franks Henchmen and in return holds Mel and Frank Hostage. Frank begs Tony not to kill him but has his best friend Manny Ray(Steven Bauer) Shoot and kill Frank. Due to Frank being dead Tony Marries Elvira and climbs to the top of the crime later, but they both use a hefty amount of cocaine and due to this Elvira cannot have children due to a polluted womb. Elvira and Tony split and Tony has fallen back down to the bottom of the crime ladder. Tony finds Manny and Gina But kills Manny afetr he finds out he Married Gina without his approval. Tony and Gina travel back to the mansion where Sosa's Men are waiting for him. Gina dies and Tony is shot in the back falling into a pool, Dead, under a statue that reads "The World Is Yours".
The character of Tony Montana is what brings this film together. The way he acts, the way he talks and the way he rises and falls form his gangster empire. He's The anti-hero, thecharacter who does bad things but you root for him anyway. When he speaks, it's usually with a lot of profanities. The point of his rise is when he kills Frank and the point of his fall is when he yells at Elvira in the middle of a busy resteraunt. Tony is a ruthless criminal and that is what makes him so interesting. When he sees Gina talking to a guy in a night club, He gets infuriated and slaps her. His life of crime is so out of control that not even his own mother wants anything to do with him. This is one of the most interesting characters in cinema and is the glue that holds the movie together.
A lot of people complain the most about the language in the film and question whether or not, if it's nessecary. In my opinion it is. They also complain of the violence. That too, needs to be in this type of film. You cannot tell this type of story if it was rated PG and was targeted to families. Violence and language is a nessecity to Portray Tony Montana as this vulgar Monster who will kill anyone who gets in his way. The other actors in this film do a great job with Michelle Pfieffer and her mixture of "Bad-Girl" and "I Don't Give A Damn" Attitude. Robert Loggia is great as the sloppy yet Develish Frank and Steven Bauer is great at portaying Manny Ray. 
The Story of a man who comes to America, rises to the top of the crime ladder and eventually his fall back down is compelling, original and breath-taking. Films like GoodFellas do this same kind of thing very well, but I think Scarface Pulls it off the best. This is a very long movie but it is worth every single second. Every frame is captivating, every Character is indulging and every line calls to your attention. If you have not seen Scarface and are reading this review, than go out and buy it. It is essential to watch and my 10th favorite film of all time. Check it out.
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